Plot: Memorial service

In The Trick is to Keep Breathing, the Memorial Service emerges as a major event upon which the narrative pivots.
We see how Joy grapples with the complex emotions invoked by a recognition of her lover Michael’s death.
The event denotes a turning point, with Joy having to large-scale publically confront the reality of Michael’s death and her feelings of loss and guilt.

Joy’s interaction with the wider social group at the Memorial is pivotal. She is forced to manage her grief publicly which is contrasted by her usual retreating inwards.
Dynamics between Joy and the other mourners underscore the awkward tension that arises when private grief becomes a public spectacle.
The encounter with Marianne, the figure who stands as a testament to Joy’s illicit relationship with Michael, highlights the complexity of their connections.

The extremity of Joy’s emotional turmoil at the Memorial manifests her struggle with the grieving process.
Confrontation with Marianne stirs her guilt, shedding light on the motifs of shame and secrecy that underscore Joy’s relationship with Michael.
Public respectability contrasting with personal grief highlights Galloway’s commentary on societal pressures and convention.

Grief: The Memorial Service scene is a stark exploration of grief’s multifaceted nature; visceral, profound and at times, uncomfortable for both the griever and witnesses.
Societal Convention: The scene dissects societal norms around mourning and grief, showing how they often conflict with the raw human need to express suffering.
Shame: Joy’s interactions bring attention to the theme of shame and guilt woven throughout the narrative, especially regarding her relationship with Michael and his subsequent death.

“I fought not to run…“ - Joy’s instincts are to flee from the formal mourning of Michael’s life, pointing towards her struggle to publicly confront her grief.
“Marianne has the edge. Legitimate grief.” - Joy’s internal monologue connects her guilt about her affair with Michael to her sense of having an ‘illegitimate’ claim to grief, which is underscored through her confrontation with Marianne.